My projects rarely follow a linear path, so writing how my ideas develop helps me to see the point where the diverge happens and what the triggering event was (if there was one). Documenting my process helps me to better understand my work and see where I can move on from there.
Although I spend many days shaping an idea in my head, I am a spontaneous creator once the canvas is finally out. As a mixed media artist, I'm not limited by the media I use. This just means there's a lot of experimentation that I can do (and will document)!
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It has been some time since I’ve last made a blog post. Today I’d like to share a small story after doing some reflection over the past few days. :3
Here’s a photo of baby me during an academic awarding ceremony with questionable fashion choices…
I’ve wanted to be a YouTuber ever since I was in middle school, which was about fifteen to sixteen years ago.
Initially, I wanted to “make it” as a vocalist that focused on recording covers of songs. I thought to myself, “If the people I watch can do it with little to no formal training, then with enough practice and some self-taught lessons, I should be able to too.”
So I half-heartedly tried. I did vocal warm-ups, I sang with my friends, and I tried to record covers, but I felt that I lacked any sort of talent. So I gave up. Funnily enough, I didn’t even put anything on YouTube, I only published one video and it was on Facebook. I gave up on that idea and moved on.
In hindsight, it was a smart move for me because I would be embarrassed to see the silly things I’d upload and listen to the dumb things a pre-teen would say hahahahahaha. With today’s social media climate, it’s best to practice being a wallflower…
That brings us to today, rather, the past year where I’ve been posting my own content to YouTube/social media.
With the Rise of TikTok™, I’ve become familiar with speaking in front of a camera and planning, recording, and editing my videos. I’ve been transitioning from short-form content to longer videos and writing English subtitles as well. With all the planning, preparation, editing, and double-checking, it is truly a time-consuming hobby.
Was social media the path I planned to pursue? Not at all, especially being an introvert with a dry way of speaking. Honestly, this was actually a way to keep me on track with all my projects and a way to record all my progress.
It surprisingly helped… until it didn’t because I fell out of the habit hahahahahahahaha. The algorithm has been working against me as well so I’ve elected to take a break.
(Sorry, this is a screenshot of a video, not an actual video.)
Lately, it feels like I’ve reverted back to my middle-school self: my hair is the same style, my hobbies are the same, and even my dream of becoming a YouTuber has been slowly flourishing (thanks to a small group of family and friends who have been nothing but supportive). I wonder, if I had continued this path, how much growth would I have seen…
At times, I felt that my disposition has hindered me and that my efforts to force myself to change have done more bad than good. As a result, I came to be full of regrets and embarrassment… and cringe. I wish I knew better back then, but it’s a learned mistake that I’ve since grown from and have come to terms with it.
What are my realizations?
- I already know how stubborn I am, but I didn’t expect this level of tenacity. To think that after fifteen years, I’d come back full circle to a dream I had when I was a child.
- Record. Always record. As much as I hate to admit it (and to my older siblings’ dismay hahahaha), I am getting old and not remembering as much as I used to, with some memories completely disappearing.
- Any skill gets better with time and practice, and shooting and editing are no different. I try not to edit my videos too much and do RAW as much as possible, but sometimes I will do simple color balancing and exposure corrections when the footage looks too dull.
- Lenses do make a difference. I recently bought new lenses and they’re soooo nice. I’ve decided to fully invest in my camera and buy lenses/accessories as necessary.
- Social media managing is hard. 🙁 Staying online 24/7 is a terrible design.
- Writing subtitles and localizing is an incredibly time-consuming and dull task. This is why my goal is to make my videos 12 minutes or less.
- Content creation is hard!!! The best thing to do is to see what other people have done and repurpose it based on your branding and your content focus.
- Fun can be fun. It can be shallow. There doesn’t have to be a “deeper issue” to examine. Fun can exist in and of itself.
- Dreams don’t have to die.
- There are evil people that spread negativity for their own joy despite you not doing anything to warrant it. Fight back because you don’t deserve to be treated that way.
I think that’s all. Until next time,
AVDLR
