Tasks with Directions

The final reflection paper is a short 3-4 paragraph paper meant to represent a final connection of student knowledge as it relates to their own personal experiences and potential career direction.  

Students are asked to identify at least 3 lessons that stood out to them and expand upon what meaning they held for the students life, as well as provide a final paragraph conveying what ideas are most useful for moving forward in their college and professional experiences. 

Conflict management is a universal skill that can be used across cultures, generations, and disciplines. I felt that the book approached the concept in a manner that made sense, beginning with how the reader is conditioned to approach conflict, engaging with the other party, using resources and third parties, and ultimately reconciliation and apologies. In reflecting on how I approach conflict (based on how I was raised to engage in conflict), I tended to point out that what the other person did was wrong, rather than how the action made me feel. This made the approach feel like a win/lose situation instead of a discussion or compromise. I am unlearning to believe that other people are purposely malicious or out to hurt me. Instead, I’m trying to focus on understanding their perspective and how their actions impacted me, without jumping to conclusions about their intentions. By shifting the focus from blame to understanding, I can approach conflict in a more constructive way, looking for ways to resolve the issue collaboratively rather than viewing it as a battle. 

Not only is the approach to conflict important, i.e., if it is constructive or deconstructive, and what strategies to use in the discussion, it’s just as important to regulate (as much as one can, and it’s easier said than done) emotions and to understand what the conflict is actually about. I found that the chapter involving Topic, Relational, Identity, and Process, AKA TRIP, analysis can help put the issue into a framework that can guide the resolution process. Keeping emotions from getting too high and focusing on the components can help remove the defensiveness that can escalate conflict and cause negative spirals. Although it may not be as outwardly harmful as bullying in other contexts, the dynamics can still be toxic, especially when power imbalances or patterns of manipulation exist. In personal relationships, these behaviors can sometimes be overlooked or dismissed as just “arguing” or “fighting,” but they can still cause emotional harm.

The last chapter, Chapter 11: Reconciliation and Forgiveness, particularly stood out to me because I don’t remember a time when this was modeled for me. Growing up, conflict was approached through heightened emotions, name-calling, bullying, and often just avoiding the issue entirely after the tension settled. There was little room for open dialogue or resolution. Instead, conflicts would simmer beneath the surface, only to resurface later in different forms. Not only was reconciliation difficult to achieve, but accountability was as well. Reading this chapter helped me realize that reconciliation is not just about moving on or forgetting the past, but about consciously choosing to rebuild trust and healthily address the hurt. When harm is done, it’s hard to move past it without confronting the feelings and actions that caused it. Forgiveness and reconciliation require vulnerability: to acknowledge the pain, understand its impact, and take responsibility for it. It’s a process that takes time, patience, and a genuine willingness from both sides to heal. This chapter made me reflect on how I can approach forgiveness in my own life, not as an immediate solution, but as a gradual, intentional journey toward understanding, accountability, and ultimately, peace.

Overall, reading this book has given me a chance to reflect on how I can begin to approach conflicts in my own life differently. It’s funny (not funny) because I experienced a serious conflict with my partner earlier this week. Whether it was due to this course or not, I was surprised by how differently I handled it compared to how I would have reacted in the past. Instead of immediately becoming defensive or jumping into a win/lose mentality, I took a moment to step back and reflect on the situation and how to approach it. I asked a lot of questions to understand the other person’s point of view, and I focused on listening instead of thinking about my response or letting my emotions out while they were speaking. This happened right after we finished Chapter 11, so I tried to encourage my partner to create a “good response” as we did in Module 11, with actionable steps to move forward. The chapter really made me realize how important it is to approach conflict with a mindset of growth, and I’m hopeful that this shift will continue to improve how we handle disagreements moving forward.